Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
