i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
