your room smells of hookers.
And success
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
