She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
