i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize