the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
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