i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
