i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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