This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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