Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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