honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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