sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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