It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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