just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
