Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
