dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Of course I have a pirate flag
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
