if you like me you must not know who I am
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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