i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
