Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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