Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
