I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Small penises have feelings too.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
