i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
