so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize