Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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