I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
only if we run a train.
done.
do herpes really smell.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
