I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
