I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
