My nipple is on Facebook.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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