i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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