hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
