How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She tied me up with her honor cords...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
