Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize