Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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