Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
