Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
