So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
someone owes me an orgasm
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
