Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize