left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize