Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
