You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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