dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
