The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
