We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I am one with the molecules
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
