so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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