So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize
