Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
