We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
