I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
