how can u be prego again
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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