and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
