You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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