no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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