Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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