So drunk its hurt
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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