I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
