Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
