she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize