You really coming over, don't trick.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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