I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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