Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
