I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Four minutes until I can fart!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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