k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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