I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
NoShamevember. You game?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
