Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
