Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
