why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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