This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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