Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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