Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
