I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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