"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
