Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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