i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
