I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
