It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
