Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
