She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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