Whod you bang
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
How does it feel to date your dad?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
