he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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