Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Boobs are out for the taking
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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