the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize